they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
