well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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