it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
