And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
