Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
