I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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