Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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