She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I believe in your delicious
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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