Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
