I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
