You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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