I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
