I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
