you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
