What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
