Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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