there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
