that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
