I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
