BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
