i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
