just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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