so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
