their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
