I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
