Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
