I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
