I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
