Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
