the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
