I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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