i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
