Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
