Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
