So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
