I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
