We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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