SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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