I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
