She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
