why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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