My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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