so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
