I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
