All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
