I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
