if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
