You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Come share oat with me in your robe
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
