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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
