My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
