The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
