I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
