oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
