This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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